You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
