dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
