i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
