Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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