It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
