she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
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