Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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