I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
did i just pee glitter
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
