Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
