How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
