3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
