Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize