Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
