So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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