I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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