no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
