i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
