3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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