I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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