Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
