I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
