No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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