Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize