Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
