what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
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