24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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