dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Are we in a gay sports bar?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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