ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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