I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize