he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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