addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
