What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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