Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
