just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
