Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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