i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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