it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Randomize
