I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
