Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
