bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
