i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize