He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
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