I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
