I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
are you so shy because you have an std?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I deserve to be covered in dicks
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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