You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
