She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
