Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
