Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
All the doctor said was why
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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