He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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