So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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