I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
