i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
zippers are such a cool invention
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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