Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
