I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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