so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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