everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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