She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
