My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
