Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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