they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
