K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize