exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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