Sry I called you an 8
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
