I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
how drunk are you?
Several
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
