She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
