Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
you never un-have a 4some
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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